the story.

hey.
hey!
:)
friendship.
hugs.
talking.
laughing.
investing.
authentic.
sharing.
struggling.
praying.
helping.
encouraging.
more?
confusing.
shrugging.
continuing.
still confusing.
falling.
running.
leaping.
liking.
talking..more.
closely knit.
strong friendship.
more?
fighting.
fighting.
fighting.
more struggling.
giving in.
letting go.
smooth sailing.
growing.
closer.
more?
slight struggle.
admitting.. more.
hugs.
touch.
language.
proclaiming.
sharing.
exciting.
happy.
joyful.
butterflies.
smiles... more.
thankful.
meaningful.
blessed.
iloveyou.
determined.
tense.
worried.
anxious.
devastated.
painful.
heart-wrenching.
broken heart.
uneven.
edge of tears.
no tears to cry.
crying on the inside.
sickening.
hurt.
depression.
anger.
mostly hurt.
upset.
disappointed.
naiive.
trusting.
letting go... again.
praying.
praying.
praying.
content... not quite.
working.
striving.
fighting.
fighting.
fighting.
sad.
bitter.
sick.
pain.
hurt.
anxious.
hopeful.
believing.
trusting.
faith.
content.


more?....


"and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." romans 8:28

"this world has nothing for me,
and this world has everything.
all i could want, and nothing i need."


merry christmas.

living for today.

blissfull......

how do i describe it?
i've never been happier, or more content for that matter,
in my life...

the future...
for once, it can wait.. and it wouldn't bother me.
because here. now. this is where i am.
this is where i want to be.

yesterday is gone, tomorrow is coming,
but, today is here.
and i am soaking up every second of it..

lately i've been learning, you never know what you have until it's gone,
and you only have today to tell those who mean the most to you how much you love them.
if you let the opportunity slip by.....

it's gone.
and you can never get back that wasted time.

but not just with people.
with God, our Savior, as well.

i am so bad about putting God on the bottom of the list, on the backburner.
i think it happens to all of us. we get too caught up in life to just....
be. and breathe, with God.
and so, this is my prayer for today.

"Lord, i give you my heart.
i give you my soul.
i live for you alone.
every breath that i take,
every moment i'm awake,
Lord, have your way in me."

"this world has nothing for me,
and this world has everything.
all i could want, but nothing i need."

amor.

"so maybe it's true, that i can't live without you.
and maybe two is better than one...
and you've already got me coming undone." -"two is better than one" by boys like girls


are we seriously believing this stuff?
who are we kidding?

"i can't live without you."
i don't really have a good word that's not too harsh, so -- fiddlesticks.

maybe that's true for you, but not for me.
i may put Him on the backburner at times,
but God is the only one i can't live without. and i mean that completely literally.
because without His grace and salvation, i would spend life after death in hell, completely separated from Him.

and you're telling me that really it's some guy that i can't live without?
i don't think so.
yeah, i'll get married someday, and obviously he'll be very important to me,
but i could live and survive without him.

maybe i don't know what i'm talking about.
i mean, after all, i'm not married.. i haven't ever been broken up with.. i haven't lost someone like that who's that special in my life.

but i kind've don't care. i think it's important for others at least to know the truth, and what i'm learning right now: if we had no one to call a friend or family member on the planet, God would be enough.
at least, He SHOULD be enough. that's our struggle.
yes, our struggle.
just because i can recognize that a relationship won't ever be significant enough to be something i can't live without, doesn't mean that i don't care what others think or just enjoy life without trying to "get in good" with people.
we like to be accepted. it's part of our human nature.
so that's what i do. i pay too much attention to people, and their petty ways,
instead of focusing on what God has to say and what He thinks about me.

that's what we shouldn't be able to live without.
not a "significant other" or what we know as love.
and i'm just as guilty as anyone else in believing the lie.