beautiful

today as i drove home from school, i was listening to a song by leeland called "carried to the table." and as i listened about coming before the throne of God and not being able to see my brokenness, i simply looked up at the sky and clouds. i've done this countless times, no doubt, but this time just seemed a little different.
instead of trying to make myself think, "wow, how could God make something so amazing," or "i can't even grasp the awesomeness of my God," (even though both of those things are true), i just sat there and thought, "wow, that's beautiful..." for some reason, i got a lot more satisfaction and warmth inside my heart just by marveling at the beauty of the sky and the clouds as the backdrop for the trees, instead of trying to figure out how they got there.
i don't know if there's a hidden lesson in this or not, but if i had to point one out, i would say,
just like the song i was listening to said, "and i don't see my brokenness anymore when i'm seated at the table of the Lord," i kinda forget my struggles and hardships in my daily life when i just sit and marvel at the beauty of God's creation.

i had never done that before... i always told myself, you should be wondering about the awesomeness of this and how this happened and the fact that you can't get your mind around it; and although it's true and good to do that, i never just sat and saw how beautiful everything is.
and it's a shame i've missed that for so long,
because when you look past the sin and filth of the world, it really is

beautiful.

feeling God's love.

lately i've been praying that i would really be able to feel God's presence in me, like i could feel His touch. He has certainly answered this prayer already. this past week at school we had what's called 180 week, where we have sort of a "revival" and hopefully make a 180 turn from what we're doing and run as hard as we can back to God. so we have chapel three days this week instead of our normal once a week. i can't fully describe what i felt in those days in chapel.
for one thing, i got to hear my whole school singing together praises to God. and i know that not everyone was singing, but it just filled my heart to hear the voices of my fellow students joining together to give praises to God. i'd never heard that before in school, so i'm really excited for chapel throughout the year.
the second powerful thing was when we were singing "how he loves" by kim walker. the band was definitely belting it out with amazing talent, but i don't think that's why i got the chills when i had been sweating before due to the heat in the room. i honestly believe that God was letting me know in a tiny way how huge His love is for me. and i don't think i'd ever felt like it was so real as it was then.
then this morning at church, we prayed for my children's minister who recently found out that she has breast cancer. i've known this woman for almost my entire life, and her daughter is a good friend of mine, so the battle they're facing is slightly more real to me. after we prayed as a congregation for her and her family, we sang a song about how in God's presence, i am undone, and all my fears are melted away. and again, i got the chills as i thought, "wow. i can feel God's presence as i'm singing about it right now."
this is all so crazy, i don't really know what to do with it but just be thankful for it.
if you've never felt God's love like i have the past few days, i pray that you feel it soon. it will overwhelm you like you never imagined it could.

colds.

sneezing, runny and stuffy nose, sore throat, sinus headaches: these are all common symptoms of the common cold.
yep, i've got all that. it's one of the joys in my life -- having to blow my nose every five seconds and not being able to breathe. oh, and speaking of not breathing, this also includes not being able to smell or taste either. and did i mention how hard it is to try to go to sleep when you have to "come up for air" in order to get enough oxygen? like i said, it's one of the greatest joys in my life.
so today i went to the doctor for this cold, but what did i get?
an ear wash.
yeah, i'd never heard of it either. apparently my right ear was all waxed up so they had to clean it out. that was definitely an adventure i won't discuss in detail.
but anyway, since i went to the doctor i was able to get some drugs (yay) to hopefully get rid of this cold and *cross my fingers* will make me drowsy tonight.
gotta love that.
gotta love colds.

Ephesians 5:1-2

As a new blogger, i think my number one thing to say on my first blog should be my "mission." i have great hope for the world to be changed for the better, because i know that my God is big enough. i have faith in Him to work through me and my fellow followers in Christ that we can change the world through His strength, one person at a time by taking Jesus as He is to people as they are.
another part of this is my verse for the year, Ephesians 5:1-2, which says, "Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma."
This verse is not just my verse for the year, but my life verse and mission statement: to imitate the love of Christ to others just as He has shown his powerful love to me.
i'm excited to get to share bits of my life and what God is doing in my life through this blog. prepare yourself for a crazy journey!