beautiful

today as i drove home from school, i was listening to a song by leeland called "carried to the table." and as i listened about coming before the throne of God and not being able to see my brokenness, i simply looked up at the sky and clouds. i've done this countless times, no doubt, but this time just seemed a little different.
instead of trying to make myself think, "wow, how could God make something so amazing," or "i can't even grasp the awesomeness of my God," (even though both of those things are true), i just sat there and thought, "wow, that's beautiful..." for some reason, i got a lot more satisfaction and warmth inside my heart just by marveling at the beauty of the sky and the clouds as the backdrop for the trees, instead of trying to figure out how they got there.
i don't know if there's a hidden lesson in this or not, but if i had to point one out, i would say,
just like the song i was listening to said, "and i don't see my brokenness anymore when i'm seated at the table of the Lord," i kinda forget my struggles and hardships in my daily life when i just sit and marvel at the beauty of God's creation.

i had never done that before... i always told myself, you should be wondering about the awesomeness of this and how this happened and the fact that you can't get your mind around it; and although it's true and good to do that, i never just sat and saw how beautiful everything is.
and it's a shame i've missed that for so long,
because when you look past the sin and filth of the world, it really is

beautiful.